May 2020: Becoming a Mother in the Middle of COVID

This is part 1 of 5 in my personal series, How I Raised My Daughter. I’m Shree, the founder of MindfullyRaised, and these are my own memories and beliefs, not rules. Every child and every family is different.

My daughter was born in May 2020, in the middle of COVID.

Everywhere, the world was afraid. People were dying, the news changed every hour, and nobody knew what would happen next. And in the middle of all of that, I became a mother.

The question that kept me awake

I wasn’t thinking about being a perfect mother. I was thinking about keeping her safe. One question filled my mind again and again: if something happens to me, who will look after her?

That fear taught me something I had never really felt before. Love, and time with our family, are not things to take for granted. They can feel ordinary until the day you realise how fragile they are.

I stopped asking how to be a perfect mother, and started asking how to be a present one.

What I gave her in those first three years

I gave my daughter my full attention, love, care and support for her first three years. I made sure she had enough space to explore and enough space to learn.

I read a lot. My in-laws, my mother and my father all suggested things, and I listened. Most of what I learned, though, came from the internet. I had questions and doubts, so I kept searching for answers. I didn’t apply everything I read. I followed only what suited my requirements and suited my daughter.

I think curiosity is a beautiful thing for a parent. You get to know so much that you can’t always learn from the people around you.

If you are a new parent right now

You don’t need to follow every piece of advice you are given, including mine. Listen, read, ask your questions, and then choose what fits your child and your family. That choosing is part of the job.

The full series: How I Raised My Daughter

• Part 1: May 2020 (you are here)
• Part 2: The Job I Gave Up for Her
• Part 3: Her Day Is Mine to Make
• Part 4: Chosen
• Part 5: She Is Watching

If this story spoke to you, share it with a new parent who might need it today. You can follow the series on Instagram at @mindfullyraised_.