She Is Watching: How Children Learn Discipline by Example
This is part 5 of 5 in my personal series, How I Raised My Daughter. I’m Shree, the founder of MindfullyRaised, and these are my own memories and beliefs, not rules. Every child and every family is different.
People often call my daughter a disciplined child. I don’t think it came from rules.
Discipline through consistency
I think it came from how I show up every day: the same routine, the same tone, and how I treat her. I have tried to stay consistent in my behaviour and my routine.
She watches how I treat everyone
It isn’t only how I treat her. She watches how I treat everyone in front of her: the same kindness to everyone, even when I am tired. She watches, and she learns. It all matters a lot.
Children learn far more from what we do than from what we tell them.
This is my own experience with my daughter, not a promise. Every child is different, and temperament plays a big part. But I truly believe our example is one of the strongest things we give our children.
If you’d like to go deeper on this, read our guide to Mindful Discipline.
Try this week
Pick one thing you want your child to learn, such as patience, kindness or keeping a routine. For one week, quietly model it yourself, without asking them to do it. Then notice what they copy.
What comes next
This is the last part of my daughter’s series. Next, I’ll share how I am raising my son, and what his sister taught me along the way.
The full series: How I Raised My Daughter
- Part 1: May 2020
- Part 2: The Job I Gave Up for Her
- Part 3: Her Day Is Mine to Make
- Part 4: Chosen
- Part 5: She Is Watching (you are here)
If this story spoke to you, share it with a new parent who might need it today. You can follow the series on Instagram at @mindfullyraised_.
